Stand-up Comedian, Christopher Breakell, has always been bald. Welcome to Tummy Time! The Plano-to-Austin transplant jumps on the show and gives us the plug on Turkish hair implants, being a skate-or-die boi, and finding companionship. Seeking bald advice? Interested in making Superman your waifu? In the mood for not one, but TWO poop-your-pants stories? All this and so much more hilarity on this episode of Tummy Time. Oh, and Jesus was also a short king.
00:00 Intro - Turkish Hair Transplants
00:40 Welcome to Tummy Time, Christopher Breakell
01:17 C-Section Babies Have Nice Heads
02:45 Why Do Doctors Have to Use Forceps for Delivery?
03:12 Neither of My Parents Saw My Birth
03:56 On Being Bald
05:21 How I Met Your Turkish Mother
06:06 Celebrity Hair Transplants
06:43 Justin Comes Out as Bald
08:30 In Addition to Balding, I Used to Be a Big Drinker
09:33 Group Projects at the Commuter University
10:10 I Had a Crush on My College Professor
11:51 I Don't Hate Physical Touch, I Just Hate Physical Touch with Strangers
12:32 Learning to Hug: Making a Plan
13:42 I Hug Mom and My Dad, Sometimes My Mom Will Start to Kiss Me
14:54 I Accidentally Kissed My Grandma
16:09 Skater Bois
17:42 Skateboarding Battle Scars
18:32 I Fractured My Back Skateboarding and Had to Wear a Corset
20:33 My Parents Got Divorced and It Was My Fault
21:17 You Want to Be Taller Than Your Step-Dad
21:29 I Hit 5'6" Like My Idols, Joe Rogan and Jesus Christ
22:26 Besides the Rejection From Women and People Not Thinking You're a Pushover, There's Only Positives to Being Short
23:11 Going Bald Helped Me Get Over Being Short
24:13 Can't Get the Holy Trinity of Short, Bald, AND Fat
25:42 Bald Pride Has Gotten Out of Control
26:40 Trying to Grow Clown Hair
28:25 What I Wish I Knew Before Going Bald
29:10 Black Men Pull Off Being Bald Way Better
31:34 I Went to Amsterdam and Partook of the Offerings
33:53 Who Amongst Us Has Not Passed Out at a Whataburger Drive-Thru at 3AM?
35:28 You Gonna Finish That?
38:10 Hostel Bookers
39:46 Euphemix-up
42:06 Listen, I Get Around
44:17 Now That I'm Sober, Some of the Drunk Stories Don't Seem as Fun
45:37 You Get Someone a Teddy Bear and All of a Sudden, You're No Longer Cool
46:59 I Definitely Humped a Stuffed Animal
48:10 Just a Regular Stuffed Superman with a Hole. It was Consensual.
50:41 Superman was Your Waifu
50:58 Sybian by Dave Lampert
52:45 Sharted Twice in the Same Week at Church Camp
55:14 One of My Earliest Memories: Pooping My Pants in Pre-School
57:55 A Mother's Instinct
59:23 Find the Hilarious Christopher Breakell on Instagram: @freakell (Pronounced as "FRECKLE")
59:51 We'll See You Next Tummy Time