37 - Stay Queefin' (ft. Elizabeth Schantz) - Tummy Time Podcast
Writer and Comedian, Elizabeth Schantz, teaches us some tricks. Welcome to Tummy Time. Growing up a poo-poo pee-pee girl ain't easy in a religious household. That never stopped Elizabeth. At a young age, she taught herself how to queef in order to protest bedtime. Sex-Ed wasn't taught in Texas and only the cool kids got snacks. We discuss the etiquette of subscribing to a friend's OnlyFans, cornering the queef asmr market, and why a woman's purity is neither a passed around rose nor does it involve oreos. From exploring the fever dick, saving the back door for marrige, and even a secret tip for free fajita scrimps, Elizabeth will have you wishing she'd stop queefing without confrontation on this very Hollywood episode of Tummy Time.
00:00 Intro - Don't Stop the Queefing
00:50 Welcome to Tummy Time, Elizabeth Schantz
01:23 A Poo Poo Pee Pee Girl
01:39 Yummy Poop Toothpaste
02:18 Poop Toothpaste is at the Top of My Resume
03:24 Are You Rich?
03:38 Our Friend, Judy
04:03 Judy Weinstein, I Apologize.
05:06 Rich People Always Say They're Middle Class
06:10 Your Interest in Poo Poo Pee Pee is More Conceptual
06:40 I've Been Ashamed of Every Fart I Ever Did
07:35 You Can Have Boundaries
08:07 Have You Always Been a Dirty Little Whore?
09:39 Elizabeth has Trouble Staying on Task and is Disruptive to Others
09:58 I Didn't Interact with Boys
10:20 I Figured Out How to Make Myself Queef
10:46 How to Make Yourself Queef: An Easy-to-Follow Guide
11:38 I Queefed for My Boyfriend, He Didn't Appreciate it Enough
12:17 I Hated Bedtime
12:40 ...So I Queefed in Protest!
13:07 Think About Having the Father-Daughter Talk About Queefing
14:12 Camel Toe the Line
14:44 How Come You Never Queefed For Me?
15:32 A Guy I Knew Used to Could Make Himself Fart
16:24 Shoot for the Moon, Land Among the Stars
17:06 Bussy Control
17:41 The First Time I Queefed for My Boyfriend
18:28 How Come You Never Queefed For Me, Part II?
19:32 My Parents Tried to Squish the Poo Poo Pee Pee Outta Me
20:03 Who's the Funniest Person You've Ever Met?
20:53 No Poop Talk at the Dinner Table
22:19 Giving Up the Nasty and Going Good Girl
24:31 The Oregon Trail
24:56 Your Butt's Homebase
26:11 Certain Words
27:30 Vicious Cycle in Creative Endeavors
28:53 I Wish I Could Quit You
30:06 Have You OnlyFans Someone You Know?
30:58 Commenting on OnlyFans Content with Your Full Legal Name
33:57 Social Norms Around Dealing Indecent Content
34:57 Can You Queef on Command? Comment Below!
35:53 They Don't Let You Do Your Real Talent at the Talent Show
37:22 Queefing ASMR
38:24 The Power of the Queef
39:38 Addressing a Queef in Realtime
40:52 It Needs a Flared Base
41:19 A Butt-Discovery Podcast
42:20 Sex-Ed in Texas
43:05 A Petal-less Rose, A Woman's Purity
43:59 I Never Got Picked
44:34 Chewed Up Snacks, A Woman's Purity
46:05 School Presentations on the Dangers of the World
47:55 My Big Bush Got in the Way of Me Getting Laid
48:41 The First Time I Saw a Penis, I Cried
49:35 My Boyfriend Ruined 69ing For Me
51:08 Saving My Butthole for Marriage
51:47 Fever Dick
52:44 Trash Scrimps
56:11 After the Writer’s Strike, there will be work for Elizabeth
57:31 See You Next Tummy Time
