36 - Statute of Limitations (ft. JT Kelley)
Stand-up comedian, JT Kelley, shows us how to love ourselves. Welcome to Tummy Time. From Fundamentalist Christian homeschooled boy to pretending to be deaf to get out of jail, JT's stories will have you in stitches. Poopin' in a Big Gulp, buying a gun across state lines, and finding that magical orgasm button. Yep, dudes have one, too. You ever achieve the self-suck? How about haranguing nephite passersby with the Black Israelites? Never thought you'd find your new best friend by serenading homies at the shared urinal? JT will make you think again. Laugh along with your new best friends, enjoy the ride on another hilarious episode of Tummy Time Podcast, and be sure to check back in 2025 for a banger joke once the statute of limitations has run on it.
00:00 Intro: Singing to Dudes at the Urinal
00:51 Welcome to Tummy Time
01:33 Showing Off My Gun to Andrew Wagner
02:11 High on Acid: a Mysterious Gun Appears!
03:06 Doing it for the LOLs: Poopin' in a Big Gulp.
04:58 Homeschooled: Dinosaurs and Man Walking Together
05:30 The Moon Controls the Waves?!
06:21 Guys Have One Less Rib Than Women. Thanks, Eve!
06:57 Fundamentalist Christian Homeschool Social Life
08:17 The Best Capital in the United States
08:51 How Into Fire Were You? Like, Burn Down a House Level of Into Fire.
09:32 What is the Statute of Limitations?
10:59 Pretending to be Deaf for FREE FOOD
12:06 Signs of a Sexual Nature
12:44 Sign Language for Vagina, Tampon, and Fart
13:39 American Sign Language for Asian
14:04 Sign Language for Jewish, Greedy
15:29 Deaf Dudes Picking Up Hearing Chicks
16:32 Camp for Developmentally Disabled Adults
16:52 Developmentally Disabled People Making Jokes
19:25 One Time, I Went to Jail and Pretended to be Deaf
20:55 Free Lawyer: There's Still a Cost
22:03 When Did You Start Doing Stand-up?
23:46 Hanging Out with the Black Israelites
25:46 My Father Got Dementia and Thought Q-Anon Was the Dumbest Thing He Ever Heard
27:12 A Story of Small Town Success
28:17 Propositioning My Wife on Polygamy
28:55 The Ethical Concerns Regarding Circumcision
32:22 Doing Stand-up in Austin Since the Obama Administration
33:38 Maybe I Should Teach a Stand-up Comedy Class
35:09 Ruining Comedy for the Audience
37:00 Dealing with a Bad Stand-up Set
38:39 Singing to Others in the Bathroom
39:49 Comedy is the Only Way I Know How to Communicate
40:14 Comedy During Covid
42:05 Self-suck
43:45 Bisexuality is a Lie Democrats Told College Kids to Make Them Horny
44:56 Fleshlight is as Good as the Real Thing
46:23 Easter Egg: Dudes Have an Orgasm Button in Their Butts
48:29 A Machine That Makes Your Penis Bigger
49:41 How'd You Meet Your Wife?
50:47 Working at Sandra Bullock's Coffee Shop
51:32 JT, Are You Pretending to Be Related to Sandra Bullock?
53:26 John Lennon, Justice Has Been Served
54:04 A Vehement Case For Putting Stuff Up Your Butt
55:59 Find JT on Social Media
56:19 We'll See You Next Tummy Time
